Nobody wants to plan their own funeral. The idea feels morbid, uncomfortable, and easy to put off. There is always something more pressing to deal with, and thinking about your own death is not exactly a pleasant way to spend a Saturday afternoon.
But here is what happens when you do not plan: your family has to do it for you. And they have to do it while they are grieving, exhausted, under time pressure, and surrounded by financial decisions they have never faced before. They will guess at what you wanted. They will argue about the details. They will spend more than they should because they do not want to feel like they cheapened your farewell.
Pre-planning is not about being morbid. It is about being kind. It is one of the most practical, generous things you can do for the people you love. And it does not require a full afternoon. You can make the seven most important decisions in a single conversation.
Decision 1: Burial or Cremation
This is the foundation that everything else rests on. Your choice between burial and cremation affects the cost, the timeline, the type of service, and the logistics your family will need to coordinate.
Burial means your body is placed in a casket and interred in a cemetery plot. It requires a casket, a burial vault or grave liner (required by most cemeteries), and a cemetery plot with opening and closing fees. A traditional burial in Ohio, including the funeral home services and cemetery costs, typically runs between $8,000 and $12,000 or more.
Cremation means your body is reduced to bone fragments through high-temperature processing. The cremated remains are returned to your family in an urn or container of their choosing. Cremation is significantly less expensive, with direct cremation in Ohio typically costing between $1,000 and $2,500. If you choose cremation with a memorial service, the total cost will be higher but still usually less than a full traditional burial.
Both options are dignified and widely accepted. The right choice is the one that aligns with your personal beliefs, your family's values, and your financial reality.
If you have a preference, write it down and tell your family. If you do not have a strong preference, telling your family "I am fine with either, choose whatever is easiest for you" is itself a gift. It removes the guilt they would feel trying to guess.
Decision 2: What Type of Service
Once you have decided on burial or cremation, the next question is what kind of service you want.
A traditional funeral includes a visitation, a formal ceremony (often at a church or funeral home chapel), and a procession to the cemetery for burial. This is the most structured and the most expensive option, but it is also the most familiar to many families.
A memorial service is a ceremony held without the body present. This is common after cremation and gives the family flexibility on timing and location. Memorial services can be held days, weeks, or even months after the death.
A celebration of life is a less formal gathering focused on honoring the person's life rather than mourning their death. The tone is typically lighter, the format is flexible, and the event can be held almost anywhere.
A graveside service is a brief ceremony held at the cemetery, skipping the funeral home entirely.
Direct cremation or direct burial means no formal service at all. The body is cremated or buried, and the family decides later whether to hold a gathering.
You do not need to plan every detail of the ceremony. Just telling your family "I want a simple graveside service, nothing fancy" or "I want a big celebration of life with music and food" gives them a clear direction that eliminates weeks of agonizing.
Decision 3: Where You Want the Service
Location shapes the tone and the experience. Think about where you want people to gather when they say goodbye.
A funeral home chapel is the default option and works for almost any type of service. It is climate-controlled, set up for ceremonies, and managed by professional staff.
A church, mosque, temple, or synagogue is the right choice if your faith tradition is central to who you are and how you want to be remembered. If you have a specific congregation, name it. If you want a religious leader to officiate, name them too.
A non-traditional venue like a park, a family home, a restaurant, a community center, or an event space works well for celebrations of life and informal memorials. If you have a place that holds special meaning for you, tell your family about it.
No venue at all is an option if you choose direct cremation or direct burial. Your family can gather informally on their own terms without booking anything.
The more specific you are, the less your family has to figure out. "I want the service at First Community Church on Broad Street" is easier to execute than "I want something religious, I think."
Decision 4: Who Should Speak
The eulogy is one of the most memorable parts of any funeral. Choosing who delivers it is a decision worth making in advance.
Think about who knows you best, who can speak publicly without falling apart completely, and who would be honored by the request. It might be a sibling, an adult child, a best friend, a colleague, or a pastor.
You can name one person or several. Some families have two or three people share different perspectives on the deceased person's life. Others prefer a single speaker who captures the whole picture.
If you have a preference, tell the person now. Do not wait for your family to guess. A conversation that says "when the time comes, I would love for you to say a few words at my funeral" is not morbid. It is an act of trust and love. Most people are deeply moved by the request.
If you do not have a preference, that is fine too. Just let your family know that you trust them to choose someone good.
Decision 5: Music and Readings
Music sets the emotional tone of a funeral more than almost any other element. A single song can make an entire room cry or smile or both.
Think about the songs that mean something to you. The hymn your mother used to sing. The album you played on every road trip. The song that was playing when you proposed. The artist you have loved since you were sixteen.
Write down three to five songs you would want played at your service. Your family does not have to use all of them, but having a list gives them a starting point that feels personal rather than generic.
The same applies to readings. If there is a poem, a scripture passage, a book excerpt, or a quote that resonates with you, write it down. Include the source so your family can find it easily.
These small details matter more than you might think. When a family can say "this was her favorite song" or "he always loved this passage," it transforms a generic moment in the ceremony into something deeply personal.
Decision 6: What to Do with Your Remains
If you choose burial, decide where. Do you already own a cemetery plot? Is there a family plot you want to be buried in? Do you have a specific cemetery in mind? Do you want to be buried next to a specific person?
If your family does not know the answers to these questions, they will have to research cemeteries, compare prices, and make a purchase during one of the worst weeks of their lives. Having a plot already selected or at least a preference documented saves them that burden.
If you choose cremation, decide what you want done with the remains. Common options include:
Placement in a columbarium niche (a wall-mounted space at a cemetery or memorial garden). Burial of the urn in a cemetery plot. Scattering at a meaningful location (a favorite beach, a mountain, a family property). Keeping the urn at home with the family. Dividing the remains among family members. Planting a memorial tree with the remains incorporated into the soil.
Some of these options have legal considerations. Scattering ashes on public land may require permission. Scattering at sea has federal guidelines. Your funeral director can advise on the specifics, but having a general preference documented gives your family a clear starting point.
Decision 7: How to Pay for It
This is the decision most people avoid, and it is the one that causes the most stress for families after a death.
Funerals are expensive. If you have not set aside money or purchased insurance to cover the cost, your family will either pay out of pocket, go into debt, or scramble to find alternative funding during the worst week of their lives.
Here are the most common ways to pre-fund a funeral.
Life Insurance
A life insurance policy is the most straightforward way to cover funeral costs. A policy with a death benefit of $10,000 to $15,000 is enough to cover a traditional funeral in Ohio with room to spare. Term life policies are affordable, especially if you purchase them while you are relatively young and healthy.
If you already have life insurance, make sure your family knows the policy exists, where to find it, and how to file a claim. A policy does no good if no one knows about it.
Pre-Need Funeral Contract
Some funeral homes offer pre-need contracts that allow you to pay for your funeral in advance at today's prices. You select the services and products you want, pay for them (either in a lump sum or through installments), and the funeral home holds the funds until they are needed.
The advantage is price protection: you lock in today's costs regardless of future price increases. The potential downside is that pre-need contracts are tied to a specific funeral home. If you move or change your mind about the provider, transferring the contract can be complicated.
Ask detailed questions before signing a pre-need contract. Understand what happens to the money if you cancel, move, or outlive the contract terms.
Payable-on-Death Bank Account
You can set up a savings account designated as "payable on death" (POD) to a specific beneficiary, typically the person who will be responsible for your funeral arrangements. The funds in the account transfer directly to the beneficiary upon your death, bypassing probate and making the money available quickly.
This approach gives you full control over the funds during your lifetime and ensures the money is accessible when it is needed.
Simply Having the Conversation
Even if you do not pre-fund your funeral, telling your family what you want and how much you expect it to cost gives them a framework to work within. "I want a simple cremation and a small memorial. It should not cost more than $3,000" is a clear instruction that prevents overspending and eliminates guesswork.
How to Document Your Decisions
Making these seven decisions is the hard part. Documenting them is easy.
Write them down. A simple document, handwritten or typed, that lists your preferences for each of the seven decisions above is enough. Keep a copy in a place your family knows about: a filing cabinet, a safe deposit box, or with your will and other important papers.
Tell someone. Documentation is useless if no one knows it exists. Tell your spouse, your adult children, or whoever is most likely to handle your arrangements. Walk them through your preferences. Answer their questions. Make sure they are comfortable with the plan.
Consider a formal pre-planning consultation. Sitting down with a funeral director to walk through your options, document your wishes, and (if you choose) pre-pay for services turns your preferences into a concrete plan. The funeral home keeps your file on record, and when the time comes, your family simply confirms the details rather than starting from scratch.
At Evergreen Funeral, Cremation and Reception, we offer pre-planning consultations at no cost and no obligation. You can come in, ask questions, explore your options, and leave with a documented plan that your family can rely on. There is no pressure to pay in advance or commit to anything you are not ready for.
The Gift You Leave Behind
Pre-planning your funeral is not about controlling things from beyond the grave. It is about lifting a burden from the people you love most.
When a family walks into a funeral home with a pre-plan in hand, the entire experience changes. Instead of making dozens of difficult decisions under pressure, they confirm a plan that already exists. Instead of guessing what you wanted, they know. Instead of arguing about the details, they agree. Instead of worrying about money, they follow the budget you set.
That clarity is a gift. And it costs you nothing but a few hours of honest thought and a conversation with the people who matter.
If you are ready to start that conversation, contact us at (614) 654-4465. We are available 24/7, and we would be honored to help you take this step for your family.
